13 November 2008

Time of the year

November is a hard time of the year for me. It used to be the busiest because between my family and Andy's we have literally like 10 birthdays. Couple that with the holidays and our anniversary-it is a lot! Within the past few years, we've lost 2 very important birthdays, my Mom and Dad's.

I've been in a bad mood today. I've been trying not to focus on the fact that Sunday is Mom's birthday. She would have been 69. She was only 64 when she died. I always think of the movie Stepmom, and the line where Julia Roberts is talking about the teenage daughter being an adult and saying, "I miss my Mom." That line so resonates with me because not a day goes by that I don't think that. I miss my Mom.

This morning, Andy told me that he had been talking with a co-worker who actually used to work with my Mom. She was telling him how Mom would come in every day, sit down (always at a different cubby), pull out all of her pictures of her children and grandchildren and arrange them in her workspace so she could see everyone. I never knew she did that. She never had the opportunity to do that with my kids as by the time my oldest was born, she had had to stop working because she was losing her vision. My oldest, Peter, has vague memories of her. My other two, nothing. Drew was only a year when she died, and Michael never knew her. It makes me so sad that my boys are growing up without my Mom and Dad here.

My Mom suffered so much her last four years of life. Her vision, her COPD, and finally the cancer, and the complications of the surgery that should have saved her. She told my sister that she was going to offer up her suffering so that none of her grandchildren would lose their Catholic faith. She offered up her pain and suffering so beautifully. I love you, Mama, and oh how I miss you and Daddy!

12 comments:

Susie said...

I know you don't believe it now but, it will get easier. It never gets better...just different.

Brandie said...

Therese - this brought tears to my eyes! Your mom sounds like she was a wonderful person.

Amy said...

I have tears...
It will be one year on Dec 5 that my mom died. This time of year will always be hard.
((hugs))

Ellen said...

Oh Therese. It is a beautiful post written in the midst of your pain.

Kim H. said...

Okay, I'm streaming tears here - your Mom sounds like an awesome woman - I know where you must have gotten your kind heart.

The arranging of the pictures at her desk is just precious - and how nice of someone to notice and share that with you - obviously people knew how much she loved her family.

I cannot imagine my life without my Mom. Your post, although I'm sure hard for you to write, reminds us all to cherish every minute. Your post makes me want to smack my siblings upside their heads when they disrespect my parents. I'm thankful you "got it" while your parents were still on this Earth.

I'm praying for you today extra hard - and I'll be remembering your parents this month especially.

Hang in there kiddo - I'm gonna say it again - you know if I was close I'd bring you some apple cider love too!

Amy said...

I ditto Kim. {{{{{{{Therese}}}}}}} We lost my father-in-law 7 years ago in October and my mother-in-law 3 years ago, tommorrow. I still have my parents and they live very close by. I treasure them. Thank you for reminding me to continue doing so.
She does sound like a beautiful person. You are very Blessed.
Love you friend.
xoxo
Amy of the Herd

Clare said...

i miss them too...

Gramma 2 Many said...

How very blessed you are to have had such wonderful parents. The best tribute you can give them is to raise your boys to love and serve the Lord with all of their hearts and souls.
I so agree with what Susie says about how things change. You will never forget, but the time will come that you remember something and instead of tearing up, you will smile.
I am 62 years old, my mama is 87. I know I am going to have to say goodbye to her some day soon, and I live in dread of that day. I too will be so lost and lonesome once she goes HOME.
Continue to look to Him for strength. He will never leave you or forsake you.
I wish I could be there to hug you, you know I would if I could.
I love you, stay strong.
Gramma

Shawna said...

I agree with Susie . . .it doesn't get better, just different. Sending a million hugs your way . . .

Sydney said...

I'm always here for you Therese. You are honoring your parents by keeping your faith, and by keeping their memories alive. Your boys will know how wonderful your folks were because of the stories you share with them.

Cassie said...

What a beautiful tribute. Nov. is rough for us too. My father-in-law is gone 4 years now and my grandmother 5. I will hold you in prayer. God bless!

Shannon said...

I hope tomorrow that you are able to remember the good times with your mom...