01 September 2010

Musings, Thoughts and Possible Changes

So some of you know I have been a tad overwhelmed and stressed lately. part of it is work, part of it is the return to school, and part of it is that I am prone to anxiety. I tried taking a blogging break, and it helped. I have also been praying about my priorities and trying to sort out what I should do.

This morning, the thought occurred that maybe I should give up blogging. I've been in a rut for a while. I am also a bit I don't know...I can't think of the word for what I am trying to say. I have had some discussions about blogging of late. I have never had aspirations of being one of the big bloggers. Quite honestly, I am not that talented nor do I have the background to market myself in that way. I think that I am a bit jaded though about some of the big bloggers. Some of them have gotten their status because of a tragedy in their lives. If it happened that way, I am sorry for that. Others have done it by latching on to a group of big bloggers. That's OK, too. I think it is just there are so many "experts" out there who aren't experts at all. Some people just hitch a ride hoping they can take part in bloggy fame.

Then there are the conventions. Quite honestly, I could never afford to go to one if I wanted, but I also think that these conventions prey on the average blogger making them believe that if they follow x,y,z then they too can be a big blogger and make money and do great things. For most of us, that will never be the reality. Again, it is not why I started blogging, nor why I currently want to blog or not blog. I hope I don't offend anyone who might have gone to one of these things, just my opinion.

Anyway, so where does that leave me? Like I said, I have been doing a lot of thought and praying and the truth is that I don't know. I had a revelation today that I am a bit worried that I might be putting too much out there in regards to my children. This blog started as a way for me to muse when I was home alone without another adult to talk to. I don't know. I think I may be worrying about Internet safety and such things.

Then I think about the friends I have made. If I stop blogging, will the friendships go away? Some of them might, and that makes me very sad. Then again, I have connected with some of you on facebook, and if I invest time in those friendships, then I don't need to worry.

Tonight, I had the idea of locking down this blog (for my family's safety), but then start another one where I blog more about my musings and less about my family. The question is would you follow me?