22 October 2009

What a week!

I am so glad this week is almost over. I have been trying to keep what I call my post-partum meltdown at bay, and it happened tonight. I feel so much better!

What's been on my mind? What hasn't been! This week was a crazy one in particular as I was juggling my evening teaching job and my every once in a while essay scoring for SAT. I had decided to take Monday off of teaching so I could score as I make twice as much on SAT than I do teaching. The next day I found out that our attendance policy has changed at work. I'm not in trouble or anything, but they have tightened it down a lot. I also had to attend my first team meeting with my new lead teacher. I am just so bitter about not getting the position. Work has just been very overwhelming this week.

I am also in sleep deprived mode. Alex is doing great, but I haven't found the groove with her at night yet. I need to feed her right before bed because when I do, it means feeding her only once in the middle of the night. I haven't been doing that, and it has been twice during the night. After I am done writing this, I am going to feed her and go to sleep myself.

Michael has been a struggle lately. He is so good with Alex, but I think that he is feeling insecure. We have really great days the 3 of us. I love nothing better than sitting down to feed Alex, and Michael climbing into my lap as well. He can be such a sweetheart, and he can also be such a stinker! He is very smart which now has me questioning the decision not to send him to school. Actually, we wouldn't have sent him because of his behavior and, ahem, potty training issues. I am just frustrated right now. When he goes to his gymnastics class, he is good as gold for the teacher. Then we go out somewhere like the grocery store, and I am constantly correcting him. And the potty training? If I weren't so tired, oh, who am I kidding? I am at a complete loss!

Finally, I am really stressing out about H1N1. I tend to be a little OCD. I used to really freak out about the kids getting sick-until they had rotovirus a few years ago. Since then, I have had a pretty laid-back attitude. Until this whole H1N1 thing. I know the media is really going all out about this. It's just the fact that I have a newborn, and I am so scared that she is going to get it. We had thought for sure that we would get the vaccine. Now, we think we won't. We were supposed to go next week, but we are hearing there are not enough shots. In the end, I don't think the shot would help as H1N1 seems to be running rampant in the city already. Several schools are closed because they have 30-40% of their population out (our school is at about 10% right now). Even if we could get the shot, I think it is too late.

So, the meltdown I mentioned? I came out of my room where I had scored 3 hours straight (except for when Alex was fussing-not that she EVER does that!), and I cried, and got all of this off my chest to my wonderful husband. If you have an extra prayer, please just pray that I can have some inner peace.

8 comments:

Herd Momma said...

CYBER HUG TIME! {{{{{{{{{Therese}}}}}}}}} Oh honey. I am so sorry you are so overwhelmed right now. Are you nursing Alex? How is that going? Michael's potty training can be put on the back burner for now. Don't stress it. Try not to stress over it. Does he have a little friend about his age that is potty trained? Perhaps spending a day with that friend might encourage him. H1N1 no big. I too am worried about Alex but the rest will be fine. I have seen a few cases around. JJ's youngest got it. They brought him home and quarentined him in their room with the bath. No one went in but JJ. No one else got it. He ran fever and was miserable for about 2 days then good. They kept him home an extra day or two to be safe. Someone starts to run fever or barfs seclude them right away.
I think of you so often and pray for you. Hope my package arrives soon. Curious to know what you think.
nother hug. {{{{{{{Therese}}}}}}} And you just go to that big hubby shoulder anytime you want and come here to bloggy world and give it to us. We can handle it. We're here for ya' babe.

Corinne said...

You go right ahead and have that meltdown! You've earned it lady. Hold fast, life is rough.

To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve, to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears...

For sure

Margaret in Minnesota said...

I will certainly pray, Therese. Try not to worry, especially about the H1N1. It is what it is and we are loved by God no matter what. Worrying over the unknown is wasted energy when what IS known is this: you have a beautiful little baby in your arms! That, for us, is the here and now.

Sufficient this day are the dirty diapers thereof...

bringing up boys said...

Therese, My boys have a flu, Everyone else in town is being diagnosed with H1N1 so I am just going to assume it is the same here. Coughing, fever, body aches. BUT it is just a flu! If you are nursing, then Alex is protected. If any of the boys get it, I would just set them up in a room where no one else is, and let them sleep. That is all they want to do anyways. Blessings, Praying! And hope things get better. Karyn

Jamie said...

I left a comment earlier and was interupted before finishing and it ended up not taking!!!

(((((hugs!))))))
From one sleep deprived mama to another!!!

I worry about Bridget getting the flu too, we just have TRUST!!!

I read this morning that we should ask our angels to help us to feel God's Peace in our hearts...

Clenloco1422 said...

I hope you feel better and get more sleep! Yes, our school is having a large chance of closing this next week if 40% is out. i really would not be surprised! praying for you!

Shawna said...

We all have to meltdown at some point! Hope you find a little peace and feel better about your rockin' ability to handle everything!

Dawn Farias said...

Oh, Therese, go ahead and cry. You sound like such a trooper already!! So strong. ((hugs))