10 August 2009

Nerves

So, I am starting to get nervous. All of these weeks of preparation are soon to come to a close sometime in the next month. I was doing some cleaning today in the room that will be shared by Michael and the baby. We have received a few gifts, and my nieces are throwing me a shower in a couple of weeks. Just trying to get everything in order.

As I am cleaning out the closet, a thought pops into my head...what if she is a boy again? Of course, in the end, it doesn't matter if baby is healthy, but last time, my mother-in-law and I had purchased several pink items which all were detagged, washed and readied for baby. When Michael was born, these quickly got swapped out for the clothes that Peter and Drew had worn. This time, I am afraid to cut tags. I have some items hanging in the closet, just waiting, just in case they need to be returned.

Then, there is the whole impending birth issue. I had 3 successful deliveries. Drew was almost a c-section because his arm was stuck near his head, and Michael was also almost a cesarean because he chose not to turn until 3 days before he was born. I am still nervous. I see the doctor on Wednesday. He will check me then to see if I have started to dilate. More than likely, I have because well, I have been known to walk around at 2-3 cm for weeks, but being at that point is making me nervous. It's just so close, and although I have had moments of feeling like this pregnancy is dragging, I am now feeling like I don't want it to be over.

I just need to breathe....and pray.

13 comments:

Gramma 2 Many said...

And she will be born all pink and healthy and all of your worries will have been in vain:)

Sarah - Kala said...

What gramma 2 many said.

Let it be what it is, yeah? Hang loose. Relax. Focus on the beauty and miracle of the baby.

Pink and healthy.

Anne said...

When I was leaving for the hospital to deliver my third son I told my mother in law "I don't want to do this!" "Too late now!" she said. It was just such a simple comment, but somehow it strengthened me to get through the delivery process that always scared me. Worrying seems to be the hardest part of anything. Put it in God's hands because there's nothing you can do about it anyway. Too late now, but God is with you, loving you, supporting you, strengthening you and everything will be just fine.

Dawn said...

IT's so dern exciting it's frightening! Praying for you and baby.

Kim H. said...

Deep breaths -- just keep praying -- and find some comfort knowing others are praying, praying, praying every day. Just keep TRUSTING HIM!!! He never fails us.

Hang in there -- and it's okay if you don't cut those tags off just yet -- all that baby needs is your love!

Dawn Farias said...

I know what you been about the anxiety. My last delivery was at home and was totally textbook. In hindsight I can see how smooth it was BUT, like you, I had already had 3 successful natural deliveries and part of me was waiting for something to go wrong. Like I was due for my turn at labor trauma.

Well, when my water broke as I started pushing I actually YELLED! b/c it scared me and I had been on edge anyway waiting for something to go wrong. What a dork!!

I can't say you will be find during everything, but I can say that no labor lasted forever! THEN, you'll be fine, LOL.

((hugs))

Nancy said...

Oh gosh, Therese! I remember that anxiety right before our babies came. It was a cross between elation and terror! To tell you the truth...I'm a little axious for you too! All I can say is try your best to enjoy every moment of it! It will be over before you know it.
Keep nesting and resting! She's almost here!!!

Jamie said...

Leave those tags on and think about how fun it will be to cut them after she is born!!! It will be so freeing to cut them then!!

I call this time, (every night) "anxiety time" every night is a different thing. The other night, I worried, literally all night about the fact that I cannot drink any water after midnight the night before the c-section, as I have done with each c-section, but I'm worrying about the worrying, worrying about the anxiety the night before.

It's so wierd how we forget this last month stuff, isn't it? It's long and hard but oh, so worth it!

One thing that keeps me going is telling myself "God is already there!" one month from now, when it's all over (2weeks, 2 days for me), God is there, He already knows how it is going to turn out. He is there, He is here.

It's also a great time for the Divine Mercy Chaplet, to repeat the words "Jesus, I trust in You" is so very powerful during our times of worry and anxiety.

God bless you, I'm right there with you!

7habitschallenge said...

It will be alright. How many times did mom tell us that? She is watching over you, the baby and all of us! I am praying for you too! Mary
Happy Mom's day! Let's make her smile today!

Meghan said...

Praying for you and the baby!

Sarah - Kala said...

btw, I'm praying with every little stitch I make on you wee handmade item. We move into our house next week (gulp, finally!!!!) and then I can put he finishing touches on it (I need the machine).

You have said so many times on my blog that you are praying for me, my family, and I just love you to the nines for it! God bless you and keep you.

Aussie Therese said...

I have felt like this more and more the more children we have.

I am sure in about 20 weeks, I will be posting something similar.

Herd Momma said...

Breathe....Pray. You said it! Breathe is my motto around here everytime a kids starts to stress or freak out. I remember stressing about a possible c-section. Audrey was easy, William was almost because he was big and didn't want to stay down. I decided to have the epidural first. I was freaked about that too but didn't need to be. My nurse was so awesome Ididn't even know they had started! When she said that is just the tape I was like "Tape..What's the tape for!" To hold it in place they were done. Then William was born within 30 minutes. go figure. The twins did end up a c-section but, when you are in that position you just want what is best and safest for all. Your little girl will be here soon. Enjoy the last days of preparation. It will all be fine. We are all here praying for you.