19 March 2008

Easter Blues

I've been in a funk lately. That's why I haven't blogged in a few days. It finally came to a head today, so I thought I'd write about it...

I have a case of the Easter blues. It may sound a bit odd, but I think I can explain. Easter is earlier than usual this year, falling on March 23rd. Last night, Andy and I saw on the news this piece about National Bakery. It is one of those good, old-fashioned bakeries with homemade bread, rolls, and treats like you can't imagine. So, we are watching and they show an Easter nest. It is cake covered in frosting and coconut to look like a nest, and there are jelly beans in the center to look like eggs. I've never had one (that I can remember), but Andy did as a kid, and was talking about how much he loved them. I decided to run down there today and pick one up for him.

As I was driving, it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I passed St. Luke's hospital where my Mom died, and my Dad spent a lot of time while he was sick. Then, I made the all too familiar turn onto 16th street, and it occurred to me that I had not been there since Dad was alive. It doesn't help that we are approaching the second anniversary of his death on the 29th, as well as my parents' anniversary on April 4th (it would have been 49 years for them). Mom and Dad used to love to stop by National Bakery. In fact, it was automatic after one of Dad's treatments or doctor's appointments.

So, I am in there thinking about them, and thinking about Easter. They had samples of stollen (a sweet bread that has candied fruit in it and frosting on the top). This was not necessarily a favorite of mine growing up, but Mom always had to have it for Easter. The funny thing was, I took a sample thinking of her, and I could hear her say, You need some butter on that stollen. I know what you are thinking-butter? on frosting? If you knew my Mom, you'd know that is exactly the way she liked it.

Well, we are 4 days from Easter, and I miss my parents, A LOT. But, if we are an Easter people like my Mom always said we were (are), then this weekend should remind me of the fact that even though they are not physically present, I will be with them someday. I am so thankful for what my parents taught me, especially giving me the gift of my faith.


writermom said...

T-sorry you are having such a tough time. I know it's a sad time of year. Hang in there - glad you'll be with family for the holiday, and give your friends a call if you need to get out! It's wonderful that you have such great memories of the holidays and that you are working on creating lasting memories with your own family.

Sydney said...

T-I'm sure it's tough this time of year, but you summed it up beautifully. Your parents gave you the gift of faith... and you have faith that you will be with them again.
We are here for you whenever you need us!