Peaks and Valleys

Today was definitely a day with highs and lows. It was Drew's first full day of Kindergarten (the first two were half days). He needed an extra snuggle this morning of reassurance, but then ran off to his day-and had a great one.

Michael had his first gymnastics class, and let's just say it didn't go so well. He followed his teacher up the stairs to the pre-school gym, and went in. He picked his "squishy square" (green), and went to sit down. Then the reality hit. Mama wasn't staying with him. He flipped out. There is a little half door at the entrance to the area. It has no lock. He walked right out. I walked him back and then proceeded to try to get him to stay. No go. He screamed, "Don't want to. I want to hold you Mama." Broke my heart. I tried to get him to stay for about 25 minutes, and then I kissed my 45 minutes of free time good-bye.

When we got to the van I mentioned my disappointment. He sobbed. I started to cry myself. I felt like the worst mother in the world. His brothers took this class at 3 1/2. He just turned 3. At this age, 6 months can make a huge difference. My baby boy is just not ready. And, lest you think I am just trying to hang on a bit more, I'm not. I just think that as a mother, I need to make sure he's ready. He's not, and that's OK.

I had another realization in the midst of this. He's not going to 4 year old kindergarten next year. I know a lot can happen between now and then, but I prayed for a sign, and it came to me pretty clearly. When I was in school the cut-off was November 30, now it is September 1. I know now that I need to honor that and not push him ahead just because he misses the cut off by one day. I feel at peace with this decision because I know it's what is best for Michael.

We had one other great moment today besides Drew's first full day. He had his annual eye exam which is a big deal. He has endothelial dystrophy. This means that he has tiny blisters on his corneas which may or may not remain stable. As long as they remain outside of his line of vision, we have nothing to worry about. If they develop in the center of his corneas, he would need a cornea transplant. We have to take him in every year for an eye exam for his glasses (separate, normal vision issue), and to have his corneas checked. I always get nervous when the appointment approaches. Fortunately, the news today was good. He is still stable, as is his vision. Definitely a day of highs and lows. Glad tomorrow is Friday!