My sister has not been feeling well for a while. Not feeling well would be kind of an understatement. She is in a lot of pain, is frequently weakened, and we have no idea what is causing it. I went to see her on Saturday night. I had not talked to her during the day, and just wanted to know how she was doing. She had been up too much that day, so she was resting in bed when I arrived. It is very frustrating to see such a strong woman like this, but what immediately hit me was although her body was weak her faith is so strong. She was simply putting herself in the hand of Jesus. I am always amazed by her unwavering faith, especially in times like these.
As I left that night, worried about her, I started one of my rants to God:
Why, God? Why does my sister have to go through this? Hasn't she been through enough? Hasn't our family been through enough?
After awhile I started cruising through the radio stations, and came upon Relevant Radio, the Catholic radio station in town. There were two things that I heard that night that were an answer to my questions. First, they were talking about St. Teresa of Avila. They told a story about a time when she fell in the mud. As she sat there muddy and wet, Jesus appeared to her and said, "Teresa, do you see this is how I treat my special friends?" Teresa's response,"No wonder you don't have many friends!" I did have to pause and laugh as it was a reminder to me that we are never given more than we can handle and that we need to laugh.
Then, the conversation on the radio turned to hope. The main point in all of this was that we need to have hope, especially hope in Jesus, no matter what. The prayer that they said went something like this:
Lord, I have lost my hope. Help me to put my faith in you.
I began to cry with the realization that God was sending those messages just for me. I need to have hope. I need to have faith. Oh, how God is good!