First Communion Day!

Peter made his First Communion on Saturday, May 3rd!

Peter-all dressed up and ready to go!

Peter and his godparents, Frank and Lydia.

Our family!

Peter with Grandma and Grandpa.

Adventures in Cake

I started my cake decorating class on Monday night. The teacher is really great. She has been decorating cakes since she was a little girl. When I signed up for the class, I was told she was the best Wilton instructor the store had ever had. I think they were right.

Monday was a sit a listen and watch her demonstrate session. In the two hour period, I learned some really great tips-an easier way to level a cake. a way to bake a cake without a dome on it (then you don't need to level it!), and how to ice a cake and make it look like fondant. We also rolled our own parchment decorating bags-a really inexpensive way to decorate!

For next week's class, I need to come in with a torted (layered), frosted cake, and my supplies ready to learn the first decorative steps. I will be bringing home a fully decorated cake. I will be sure to post pictures of my results afterward. I am really excited to be doing this class!!!

Busy Day

I've been running all day! I am going to watch a movie with my niece...more tomorrow!

My Son the Chef

Michael decided to cook yesterday, by himself! He climbed the dryer to get to the shelf where my bowls are kept. He got an egg from the fridge, and some water...





I wasn't home, but Daddy was...Andy didn't find out until he was already at this point...




My proud chef!

Big Week Ahead

We have a big week ahead of us. Our oldest, Peter, is about to make his First Communion on Saturday. I am very excited for him. When we were at Mass today, I looked at him after Communion and said, "Well, that is the last time you'll sit in the pew. Next week, you'll be going up with Daddy and I." He told me he was nervous. Looking back, I guess I was too, but I know he'll be fine!

After the Mass, we'll be having a big party at my sister's house. Her youngest, Tim, is also making his First Communion that day. When Mary and I were pregnant with them, we had the same due date. In fact, when we were trying, we spent the time praying for the other to get pregnant. It was taking me a while to get pregnant, and Mary had lost a baby at 17 weeks the previous Spring. Mary had suggested we pray for each other. We got pregnant at the same time, but she was living in Omaha at the time. I feel truly blessed that her husband had gotten a job here right after the boys were born. Now they go to school together. It has been wonderful! Looking forward to their big step on Saturday!

Library Revisited

I got everything squared away with my card! I even have books on hold for me! I am going to run over later this morning and register for something else the library offers-NetLibrary! Apparently if I sign up at the library, then I can login from home and read books online! I am really excited to try this!

Update at 4 PM:

OK, I was excited to try NetLibrary, but I have yet to find a book I want to read on it! When I hear about new technology, I want to try it. I think this will eventually bea viable option, but not yet!

Stormy Weather!

One of the things I love most about Spring are the storms. Yesterday, we had a short burst of rain, and exactly one clap of thunder. My oldest, Peter, got very excited-he loves storms as much as I do!

We come by it honestly. My mom used to sit in front of our bay window and watch the storms. I know it may not be safe, but she loved good storms. My Dad used to get so mad at her during a storm-he's be ushering us down to the basement if there was a warning, and Mom would stay upstairs and watch.

We're pretty lucky as far as the kids go. Peter loves storms, and his excitement wears off on the younger two. If we have a storm at night, the kids sleep through it. I am grateful for that because I have a feeling that Michael, at 2 1/2, might freak out.

So, later today we are supposed to have some heavy rains, thunder and lightning. I love a good storm!

Turning Over a New Leaf

My list of "to-read" books if out of control. I know Sydney tried to not add to hers, but it is REALLY hard not to when there are so many books out there. I just couldn't do it. In the interest of our family's economy, I made a decision about how to read those books. In past times, I would just run out to the book store and buy what ever I would read next. Now, I am going to try something really radical-the LIBRARY.

I know what you are thinking, "What's the big deal?" Let me share with you a story about me and the library. Growing up, I was always overdue with returning my books. Not by a day or two, but by weeks, sometimes months. My sister was guilty of it to. I can't explain it, it just happened. As I grew older, the pattern continued. So, within the past few years, I turned to just buying the books. I love to own them, and I do have visions of having walls of bookcases one day. For now, though, I will try borrowing.

So, this morning, I went onto the library's website. There were a couple of reads I was interested in, and I wanted to see if I needed to put them on hold, and to see if the library even had them. My library is literally two blocks from my house, but it has literally needed an update since I was in high school. They are putting up a new one but it won't be ready until 2009. Because of this, it is important to check ahead. I also knew that my friend, Lisa, does this pretty often, so I am trying to follow her example.

I had two problems. First, I had obviously used the system years ago (probably to check a fine)because I can't get in. I am waiting for the library to reset my pin. Secondly, the one book that I REALLY wanted was due back from the previous person on January 25. OK, people, it is almost May! I know, I am being done in by a person exactly like me! I am really going to try to do this library thing, but so far, it's not looking good. Wish me luck!

They're Back!

OK, they've been back since Monday, but I wanted to share a picture of Catie and Clare taken at the Mass. They said the trip was incredible! Wish I could have been there!

I'm having a bad day!

It happens to all of us-bad days, but, boy, I didn't see this coming.

I woke up this morning with the realization that Drew had not done his homework, and Peter had not finished studying for a test. Yesterday, Peter got home an hour late because my sister had let he and Tim play on the playground up at school. He came in just in time for me to leave and take him to the doctor-ear infection. He was able to do most of his homework while we waited, but he wasn't through reviewing his science. When we got home, I had enough time to get dinner on the table and go teach. Science was forgotten.

So, this morning, I was looking for letter x pictures for Drew. Can anyone think of anything besides x-ray and xylophone? (By the way, Drew informed me that xylophone couldn't start with x because it made a z sound!). So, I helped Drew and Peter finish their work, get ready, eat breakfast, and off to school by 7:40.

When I got back, I started going through my email. Someone had sent me an invite for reunion.com. I went to check it out, and before I knew it, the site had sent out invites to my entire contact list-didn't even ask me if I wanted to-it just did. I didn't realize this until Andy had received an invite via his pager. For those of you who got the email, I am so sorry! That was followed up by his saying, "How embarrassing!" Then I said 'Well, at least the ones that got sent to people at Educate (where I work) would be filtered out by the spam filter." He informed me that it had gotten by his spam filter, actually two of them! Crap! I just spammed my boss!

Then, I was trying to talk to Andy about a friend that I am getting the cold shoulder from. Truly, I have no idea what I did, if anything, but I have tried to contact her to no avail. Let's just say that this situation is laying heavily on my mind.

Andy left for work, and five minutes later, I got a phone call from school. Drew threw up-AT MASS. Honestly, he was fine this morning. Now, he is home, and begging for goldfish and juice. It probably was just his allergies, but I am absolutely mortified. This is the second time he has done this in about 2 months at the all-school Mass.

So, now I am home, and waiting to see if this was just a blip with Drew. I had hoped to go out and get another planter so that I can plant my sugar snap peas. Guess it will have to wit for another day! Thanks for listening!

Days Go By

Last night, Andy and I watched some of the old family videos he made a few years ago. It is amazing to me how much the kids have grown and changed in the past 4 years since he did this last. Not just my own sons, but my nieces and nephews as well. It makes me wonder, "where has the time gone?"

By this fall 9 of our nieces and nephews will either be in college or have graduated from college. My nephew, Joe is getting married next year. He was the first nephew I babysat for. I changed his diapers (sorry, Joe!), and in the next few years, he may be doing that for his own child. My mom used to say that she still felt like she was 18 when she was in her 40's and 50's, and that she would look in the mirror and say, "Who is that woman?" I didn't get it then, but I do get it now. As a result, I am trying to take the time to stop and enjoy where I am NOW, not where I was or where I will be. In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Don't make...

angel food cupcakes.

I decided to make some angel food cake because I bought strawberries at the store today (of course, I forgot the whipped cream!). I thought I would make shortcake for dessert tonight-it is Andy's favorite. I decided to put the batter in cupcakes so that they would last longer-I usually end up throwing out a whole cake.

So, I mix the batter, and put them in the oven knowing that I would need to keep an eye on them. I set the timer for half of the time just in case I forgot. Guess what, I forgot (I was emailing Sydney). They didn't burn, but my house is now full of smoke, and the smoke detector is going off (at least I know it works!). I think I will make a regular cake next time.

What A Day!

Today is one of those great Spring days! It is sunny, warm, and absolutely beautiful! Spring is actually my favorite season. I love the warmer weather (but not hot). I love the green grass, the trees and flowers blooming. It is a time for new life and renewal.

It is also why I am happy to be in the Midwest. Sure, we had the second highest snowfall on record (around 100 inches), but I can now put that behind me. It is over for a few months, and we can enjoy the sunshine-which is what I am about to do!

Pope Benedict XVI

I am sitting here watching the coverage of the Pope in New York City. I was truly fortunate at age 19 to have been blessed by Pope John Paul II while I was studying in Rome in 1990. Now, my nieces are in New York to see the Pope, and I am praying for all of the blessings that I felt in Rome to be felt by them during this trip.

I am a practicing Roman Catholic, and proud of it! My parents gave my siblings and I that gift, and I cannot thank them enough for it. I am often saddened when I hear of people who have fallen away from the Church, and I pray for them to come back one day.

I am watching Pope Benedict XVI as he blesses children with disabilities. The mothers look so hopeful as they receive his blessing. It makes me realize how fortunate I am to have three healthy sons. It also gives me hope to watch this visit. Hope for my family, hope for the Church. During these days of his visit, I continue to pray for him as the leader of the Church, and for those who will see him. I pray for peace for the Church and for the world.

What to do?

I made the decision in the past couple of weeks that I need to make sure that I have some time for myself. This is not always easy because of my three boys and my teaching in the evening. I did make some adjustments to my schedule that will guarantee me 2 nights a week off. Now, the question is, what to do?

My friends and I got together for our first crochet night. This was a huge success and I am really enjoying having a new craft. I have two projects I am working on right now. I have started a potholder and a blanket. I like to switch between the two for some variation. The potholder gives me some quick results-I can see it taking shape, while the blanket takes longer to see some results. I was on-call last night at work, and I spent some time working on each of these projects.

My other hobby these days is reading. I have always loved to read and typically have 4-5 books that I am working on at any one time. I also joined the group on Goodreads to try and read 50 books this year. Before I had kids, this would have been no problem. Now, the time constraints I have with kids and work make it difficult to get in as much time as I would like.

So, the question remains-What do I do? I love having hobbies, and I love taking the time to do these things. Andy likes to tease me that I have about 50 projects started that I haven't finished. I don't want this to be the case. I want to get my things done. oh, why can't there be more hours in a day?

M is for Michael

A couple of weeks ago, I had Michael at the doctor for an ear infection. There was a woman sitting there, waiting to be called, with her 5 month old son. He sat quietly as my 2 1/2 year old terrorized the waiting room. "I just love that age!" The woman exclaimed to me. I asked her if she had other children-she didn't. I told her to just wait and see (she has no idea what she is talking about).

Personally, in my opinion, this is one of the hardest ages between 18 months and 3 because they are trying to spread their little wings, and they don't quite have enough language or enough common sense. Michael is very independent, and stubborn. I think he is much more stubborn than my older two boys. He knows what he wants, and he wants it at that second. If he doesn't get it, it is tantrum time or he pulls his chair over to what he wants and climbs to it! And it is making this Mama tired. I love you, Michael, and can't wait for you to get a little older so we can get past this stage.

Haircuts!

Last night was the time to give the Spring haircut to the boys-BUZZ! (except Peter, I will take him in for a nice haircut right before First Communion)...I did have to go in and trim Michael's while he was in bed, asleep, as he still throws a fit when his hair is cut!

A little teary eyed this morning...

After a late night last night, I was full of energy this morning. Not wanting to waste the day, I got a jump start on things, and then left Michael with Meghan to go run errands. One of the items on my list was to go and buy Peter's dress pants and shirt for his First Communion which is two weeks from Saturday.

As I was in the store, I got tears in my eyes. I can't believe that Peter is about to receive his First Communion, that he is almost eight. Where has the time gone? I remember when he was a baby, Andy and I almost wishing our lives away. It was always things like, "I can't wait until he crawls, I can't wait until he walks, etc." Now, I think to myself, "I can't believe he is eight." He is ready for this step and I am so proud of him.

We are lucky in that our school is connected physically to our Church and we have 24 hour perpetual adoration. Peter loves to stop in after school. It is the ending to his day. I was fortunate enough to be in church the other day with him. I was in line for Confession, and he was coming to join me. He stopped at the foot of the altar, knelt on both knees in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and prayed for a few minutes. I love seeing the peace and joy that fills him when he does this. He shared with me what he has been praying for, "Mom, I am asking Jesus for a baby sister." We'll see what happens...

Crochet Night

I just got back from Crochet night with my reading buddies. We had so much fun! After gabbing for about 1 1/2 hours, we set down to work. I really appreciate the help that both Michelle and Lisa gave me with getting started. Sydney and I were both the newbies to crocheting, and I am glad I wasn't the only one. I feel like I have the single crochet down now. I also got some new yarn as well-so I should be set for a while.

The question remains, what should I make? I bought some beautiful, soft yarn in a heathery purple today. I could make myself something with that. I also got some baby blue yarn tonight. With boys, I thought I could use it for something, perhaps an afghan, or I could save it for making baby blankets for friends. The possibilities are endless. Right now, though, I am off to bed. It is late, the boys are up early. So I go to sleep with the words echoing, "yarn over pull through...yarn over pull through...yarn over pull through...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

It's Almost Here!

Tomorrow night is our Crochet night!!! We have had about 10 emails go back and forth about it. I am really excited and happy to know that my friends are as excited as I am! More details to follow...

Crafty Weekend

It seems that reading The Friday Night Knitting Club has started the crafting bug in not only myself, but my friends as well. My friend, Lisa, just emailed that she has finished a new blankie for her daughter. Sydney has been working on a scarf. Michelle has got crafty juice running through her blood. And we are all getting together to crochet on Tuesday night-I can't wait!!!

When I was younger and had more free time, I had many crafty things I liked to do. I learned how to cross-stitch when I was eight, and quickly moved onto the counted variety. When I first became an aunt, I had visions of doing a piece for each new niece or nephew. The babies started coming way too fast (there are 25 grandchildren on my side of the family), so that idea quickly went out the window.

I also started scrap booking when Peter was born. I got about two pages done. We also moved a few years later, and I can't find any of my scrapping stuff. Andy's Aunt Peg has her own Creative Memories business, and she recently hooked me up with a computer program where I can organize my pictures (which are all digital anyway) into memory books and have them printed. I LOVE TECHNOLOGY!

Now, though, I am going to give crocheting a try. I bought a couple of hooks, and have been practicing my chain stitch this weekend. I found some great how-to videos on youtube, and Michelle is going to give me a lesson on Tuesday night. My sister, Mary, loves to crochet as well, so I know she can help me too. I have been told that crocheting is very relaxing, so it sounds like just what I need!

I learned a new word!

So, we just got back from our monthly couples' night at my sister's house. We were treated to Gumbo and a really yummy strawberry pie!

After dinner, we played a game called Fictionary which is like the game Balderdash. When it is your turn, you pick a word from the dictionary and write the definition. Everyone else writes a definition for the word, and then everyone votes on what they think the actual definition is. We had a lot of fun! I learned a new word tonight as well! Callipygian. The meaning: having a shapely bottom. Who knew there was such a word to describe me!!!

Happy Birthday, Monica!

Yesterday was my niece, Monica's birthday. She turned 21! She is the fourth oldest of my nieces and nephews, and in her junior year of college.

She goes to the University of Dallas-my alma mater. She is majoring in Education, and is going to be an excellent teacher!!!

I was lucky enough to have her parents living at UD while I was in college. Besides having my sister, Mary, there with me, I became really close to my sisters' children-Monica is the oldest. When I was in my own education classes, I would, on occassion, take Monica and her sister, Annie with me to class. My Children's Literature teacher loved it because she would spend the hour reading to the girls as an example of how to do things when we had our own classrooms.

Now, Moni is 21, and almost a teacher herself. I hope she knows how much I love her, and how proud I am of her. Happy B-day!

Another Education Rant...

I heard on the radio the other day that 8th grade MPS students ranked dead last in the nation in writing. This is absolutely incredible to me. They weren't in the lower half or third-they were last. What did the district have to say? Nothing. The mayor? Nothing. The schools in this district get $12,000 per student and they are not helping these students to succeed. This is absolutely unacceptable!

This topic actually dovetails my post the other day about my nieces' school, WIVA. The students in that program are succeeding, and, if some people had their way, it would close. Students score dead last in MPS, and they say nothing. Where is the justice in that?

I think it is time to rethink how we are doing things. I don't have all of the answers, but these students cannot continue to be passed from grade to grade if they are not meeting the minimum expectations.

As a former classroom teacher, I didn't really fit the mold. I was against teacher's unions-I still am. Teachers, in general, want things both ways. They want to be treated as professionals, and they want the protection of a union. My in-laws are both factory workers, and I do think that in those situations, they need a union to make sure that they are getting fair wages and treatment. Teachers want to be assured of wage increases, and I understand that, however, how about having some accountability? If you are a good teacher, you would have no problem with merit based increases. I would have been all for that because I was secure in what I was doing as a teacher.

In some way as well, parents need to be responsible for making sure that their students go to school. They need to attend conferences about their child. I am not usually on for the "It takes a village" philosophy, but we need to be working together for these students to succeed. Pumping more money into the system isn't the answer. If something isn't done, we will have a generation of students who can't read and write, and who are dependent on the system.

My Little Comedian

My son, Michael, is a little over 2 1/2, and he has become a little comedian. The problem is that it is the same "joke" over and over again. It goes like this:

"Mom?", he asks.

"Yes, Michael?" I reply.

"Nothing!" This as he starts to cackle like he has told the funniest thing in the world.

Yesterday, we had a variation:

"Mom?"

"Yes, Michael?"

"Nothing! Mom?"

"Yes, Michael?"

"NOTHING AGAIN!"

I couldn't help but laugh at that one! I hope he comes up with a new one soon!

All Girls High School

Last night, I had the pleasure of going to see my niece, Clare's senior production. Some high schools allow the senior class to put on a kind of variety show that pokes fun at their school, the teachers, and is kind of a fun look back over their four years. Clare has not done any theatrical work before, so I was excited to see her try something new. Also, as a former drama geek myself, I always love to see high school performances.

I really enjoyed the show last night. It was fun. It had really good music. For example, they took the song Toxic by Britney Spears and re-wrote the words to turn it into something about the cafeteria food. The one thing that struck me was how much all girls schools are essentially the same.

In the 20 years (gulp) since I graduated from high school, I would have thought that these institutions created to instill strength in young women would have changed. They haven't. They still poke fun at the nuns who work there. There is the male teacher that everyone loves. Even the chants are the same. After the show, the girls started with the "Seniors, seniors" chant that we did. We also would chant "eighty-eight, eighty-eight, eighty,eighty, eighty, eighty, eighty-eight". Guess what-they did the same chant, except it is now "zero-eight". I was talking to Clare afterwards about this, and her response was, "Wow, '88! That was a long time ago." It makes me feel old, but I am glad that although my school has closed, there are other all girls schools still in the area where you can find "Knowledge and Virtue: United"! (Our school motto.)

Spring has sprung!

I am cautiously optimistic when I say that I think Spring is here. We had an absolutely beautiful weekend (and after all the snow this winter, it comes not a moment too soon). The signs are all around us-our tulips are starting to pop, our crocuses are up. I love this time of year!

The picture on the left is actually of our tulips from last year. Andy loves to garden, and when we moved into our house, we purchased bulbs online from Holland. We literally have hundreds come up each year, and the number grows because tulips multiply! I really have to thank Andy for all of the outdoor work he does. It really is beautiful! I'll have to post pictures of our lillies this summer.

Sunday Night and Tired...

Beautiful weather, lots of running around...enough said.

P is for Proud

On Thursday, I had an interesting conversation with Drew's teacher. She asked me if I had been working with him on Math. Let me start out by saying that I never know how to answer these questions because I'm not sure if they are asking because he's doing really well or really poorly. Besides, at age 4, I don't work on specific academics because if he learns too much, then he'll be bored in school. Anyway, so I hesitated, and then I said that I had not really worked with him, but he does love to sit and count.

His teacher's response? She had been testing him that morning (third quarter report cards come out next week). She told Drew to start at 1 and count as high as he could. She said she had to stop him at 122! As a guide, I should say that when Peter was in K4 (at another school), students were expected to count to 30 by the end of the year. She also said that he could name any random number she pointed to. I know he's only 4, and I know we have a long way to go, but I am really proud of him!

D is for Dad and Mom

Today would have been my parents 49th Anniversary. My thoughts this week have really been centered on them, and on their marriage. Their marriage was, and continues to be, a wonderful example to Andy and I. With the way many marriages end in divorce today, I consider myself blessed to have grown up in a two-parent household.

I thought I would take the time to talk about how my parents met today. Mom and Dad met at a wedding. It was Dad's cousin, and Mom was there as someone's date. Dad always said he couldn't take his eyes off of Mom that night. By the end of the night, he asked her out. On their first date, Dad actually proposed to Mom! (Talk about love at first sight!) Mom always said that even thought she told Dad he was crazy, that she knew that she would end up marrying him. In fact, the August that Mom met Dad, Mom was set to go to New York with some of her friends. She canceled the trip, knowing that she had met the man she would marry.

So, Mom and Dad met in August, were engaged in November, and married on April 4, 1959. They had 45 wonderful years before Mom died. I am so glad we got the chance to celebrate as a family that year.

After Mom died, Dad found a letter she had written on their 25th Anniversary. In it, she said that her prayer was that she preceded my Dad is death because she didn't think she could go on without him. I think that this is why my Dad survived so long with his cancer, literally years longer than he should have. It was so that Mom wouldn't have to live without him. Dad died a mere 19 months after she did. I am so thankful to have had their example and their love. Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

C is for Carolina-North Carolina

Yesterday, I started the essay reading for the North Carolina 4th grade writing test. I am still in the middle of training, but this is quite different from the SAT scoring that I am used to.

First of all, there are two scores given. One is for content, and one is for conventions (otherwise known as grammar and mechanics). I love that we have a score all its own for the gramar and mechanics. This is one of the pieces, in my opinion, that I think is lacking from the SAT scoring. In both of these tests, we do what is called holistic scoring. This means we have guidlines for the overall picture of the essay. For the SATs, I have always felt that there was not enough emphasis put on how to write an essay. Because of technology today, teens are missing an important part of the writing process. The computer now corrects both grammar and spelling, so there is little need to know how to do it yourself. It is my opinion that students' writing is suffering because of it.

The second difference is that these students are writing stories. Initially, I was amused with the thought of reading 4th grade stories. Then, I realized that the stories fall into two groups. The boys are writing about dragons or aliens, and the girls are writing about fairies and jewelry. Even in training, this is getting a bit mundane. Wish me luck, it is going to be a LONG month!

B is for BFFs-Corny but true!

I had the opportunity and pleasure of going out to dinner with my friends, Lisa, Michelle and Sydney last night. Yes, we did talk about what we had just read, The Friday Night Knitting Club. By the way, it was a fabulous read, and I highly recommend it!!!

What I really want to write about, though, are the women I was with. Lisa, Michelle and Sydney mean a lot to me, and I want to make sure they know this. I have said before that these three brought me through one of the hardest times in my life, but what amazes me is how we can talk for hours. They are so wonderful, not just in the bad times, but ALL the time. Ladies, I value your friendship, and am so blessed to have you in my life!

A is for April Fool's

So, today I am starting my first official month on Nablopomo, and I am going to try and write something every day for one month. They came up with a theme-letters. I am not sure if I will use that every day, but I decided to start with the letter A because today is the first day of April, also known as April Fool's Day.

I have never been a big fan of April Fool's maybe because I have never thought I was creative enough to come up with a gag on my own. I do remember when I was in about second grade, the twins in my grade switched classes. That actually was pretty funny because the whole class was in on it. The teachers never caught on, and the boys finally owned up to it because they were bursting with excitement.

I was reminded of this story this morning as I was trying to explain April Fool's to my oldest son, Peter. He and Drew are at a funny age in that they try to make up their own jokes, and they think they are hilarious, but they don't seem to make sense to anyone else. This afternoon, Peter tried to fool his cousin, Tim with the "made you look" trick. As you can guess, it didn't work. I guess I should be glad he hasn't quite figured it out yet. Seeing as I am the only female in my household, I have a sneaking suspicion that in a few years I am in for real trouble!

A New Challenge

In the interest of saving money, I have been evaluating the way I do my grocery shopping. In the past few months, I have been increasingly frustrated by the rise in prices of essentials. I decided that this month would begin my quest to find better prices on the things we use in our house.

So, yesterday, I sat down with the newspaper, my coupons, and began my list. I know that one of my sister's rules of thumb is to buy things only on sale and plan your menu around these items. I also have decided that I may need to go to more than one store to achieve my goal. Armed with this resolve, I planned what I needed to do.

I created three lists: Target, Walgreen's, and Pick n Save. I know you are thinking, "Walgreen's?" Well, they have actually started a program where when you buy certain items, you get a coupon worth a dollar month towards your next purchase. I started with Walgreen's today, and I spent $60, but I had $31 in savings/coupons. Then I went to Target. I spent $45, and saved $20. I still need to do the Pick n Save portion, but I have already saved roughly $50 in purchases.

I have also found some great websites to help in my quest of saving money with the grocery areas. They are www.moneysavingmom.com , www.mommysavers.com , and www.tammysrecipes.com . These sites have a lot of good ideas and links to my other new-found passion-FREEBIES!!! There are lots of free samples to be had out there! I'll keep you updated to how the savings are going, but the challenge is on (and I am having fun doing it)!!!

What Have I Done?

My friend, Sydney, likes to send me websites that she has found, and I try to do the same. She is the one who introduced me to Goodreads. That site is an addiction that I am still not over. For the record, my "to-read" list is up to 173 books. I have even joined a group to read 50 books this year. When I sat down to figure out what I've read so far, I only came up with one book! I am almost done with #2, but I have a long way to go.

Then, she sent another link to me yesterday- www.nablopomo.com . Nablopomo stands for National Blog Posting Month. Basically, you try to post everyday for a month to make it a habit. It looked like a good idea, so I signed up! Lately, I have been feeling like I don't have much to say, so I thought this might be a good idea to get me going again. I have a feeling that I am about to become addicted again...Thanks, Syd!

Educational Musings

A few months ago, my sister called me because my nieces' school was potentially going to close. They attend WIVA (Wisconsin Virtual Academy), an online program. For both of the girls, this school has been a lifesaver. The reason for closing? The teachers' union had sued the school. Their underlying claim was that the parents were too involved.

Let me explain how WIVA works. Your work is assigned online. You have a mandatory number of sessions that you need to attend over the year. You can also have online conferences with your teachers when you need extra help. For a great deal of the day, however, a student needs to have self-disciple to finish the assigned work, and the parents need to help out. What I love about this program is how it has helped my nieces. One, who is ADD, is able to focus on her work without the distractions of a typical classroom. For the other, it has allowed her to have the modifications necessary to have a positive academic experience. As a former teacher, I am impressed with the curriculum and the program in general.

What is so amazing to me about this situation is that the teachers' union (WEAC) sued WIVA over parental involvement saying that parents are not certified and therefore not qualified to help their children. WIVA is a charter school. It is a public school with state certified teachers who, by the way, pay dues. They are the ones in control of the program, not the parents.

This reasoning has set such a double standard in our state. In our biggest district, MPS, many schools are failing. The students are not learning. The teachers' cry, "It's not us! The kids can't learn because of lack of parental involvement!" I am sorry, but you cannot have it both ways. WIVA is a successful school, and they spend literally thousands less per student than MPS. Luckily, the state has allowed WIVA to remain open. They have set caps, but that is a fight for another day.

This parental involvement issue brings me to another educational story. I read that in California they are trying to make it against the law to home school unless the parent is a certified teacher. Give me a break! While I would not personally home school, I see it as a viable option for many families. I do not think it is fair nor just to tell parents how they can or cannot educate their children. To me, these are just further examples of the "nanny laws" that the government tries to impose. They are trying to save us from ourselves-sorry, I don't need saving.

Monopoly

When I was younger, Monopoly was one of those games that I loved to play with my siblings. I have great memories of counting the money, buying the hotels, and one of my siblings eventually winning it all. Peter received his first Monopoly game yesterday, and my how times have changed...

Last week, my mother-in-law called and asked if Peter would like Monopoly for Easter. Not having a copy of it, I thought this was a great idea. Peter's class has been working on money in Math (his favorite subject), and I thought this might be good reinforcement for him. Plus, he loves playing games, so I thought this would be a great one for him to play with his Dad and I at night after Drew and Michael went to bed.

Well, Peter got it yesterday, and although I know there are many different flavors of Monopoly out there, I assumed he would be getting the classic version. Wow, was I wrong! The latest version is the "debit card" edition where instead of using paper money, you have a credit card and the money is taken on and off by sliding it through the debit card machine. While I understand how the company is trying to modernize a classic, I think it is wrong on so many different levels.

First and foremost, credit cards? We are trying to teach the boys the importance of paying for things outright, not using credit. They may call this the debit card edition, but to a child, it is just a credit card, and there is no understanding of actually using cash to pay for something. You are also losing the mathematical value of the game because you have this little machine that looks like a calculator that does the math for you. If you are adding to the person's card, then you swipe the plus side. If you are spending, you swipe on the minus side. This whole concept was so disappointing!

Also, they have renamed everything! OK, I understand that some people might want Wisconsinopoly or Super Mario edition Monopoly, and that is fine, but I want the classic! Gone was Park Place and Boardwalk. It was replaced with things like Texas Stadium and the Arch in St; Louis. Instead of paying Luxury Tax, you pay interest on your debit card! Come on! There is just something familiar about the classic...and I intend on buying it...if I can find it.

More Writing...

In the past couple of weeks, I have been doing more writing. My friend, Sydney, introduced me to a site that is for aspiring writers. It is a freelancing site, where you can write on a variety of topics (thousands really) and they give you some of the ad revenue. They also have contests, where they will list 25 topics under a general heading, and depending on how your articles rank against the others in the given topic, you could win anywhere from $75 for first place to $5 for fourth through sixth place.

Now, I don't think of myself as a writer, but I do think that I have things to say. Luckily, one of the topics this week is Catholicism-something near and dear to my heart. I am enjoying seeing my thoughts form on the given topic. I have written 11 articles so far-six under the Catholicism title, and the other five in various areas. Again, I am by no means a writer-I'll leave that title to Lisa and Sydney, however, I am enjoying the experience, and the opportunity to share.

My friend is an entrepreneur!

I am so excited for my friend, Sue. She made the decision to stay at home with her daughter, and has been busy helping to care for her ailing mother. She has had a rough year of it, and it seems like she is turning a corner!

What I admire about Sue is her creativity. She has embraced the role of "Susie Homemaker" (sorry for the joke, Sue!), and taken it to the level of trying to have a business of her own. A few years ago, she attempted to make a go of her own Pampered Chef business, but try as she might, I don't think it allowed her the freedom to express her creativity. What she has done now is come up with her own product, and she is able to market it herself.

If you have a moment, please check it out! Her website for her delicious treats is:
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5699924 . Her blog is also posted on the side of mine. Sue-good luck in your new endeavor! I wish you success-you deserve it!

Easter Blues

I've been in a funk lately. That's why I haven't blogged in a few days. It finally came to a head today, so I thought I'd write about it...

I have a case of the Easter blues. It may sound a bit odd, but I think I can explain. Easter is earlier than usual this year, falling on March 23rd. Last night, Andy and I saw on the news this piece about National Bakery. It is one of those good, old-fashioned bakeries with homemade bread, rolls, and treats like you can't imagine. So, we are watching and they show an Easter nest. It is cake covered in frosting and coconut to look like a nest, and there are jelly beans in the center to look like eggs. I've never had one (that I can remember), but Andy did as a kid, and was talking about how much he loved them. I decided to run down there today and pick one up for him.

As I was driving, it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I passed St. Luke's hospital where my Mom died, and my Dad spent a lot of time while he was sick. Then, I made the all too familiar turn onto 16th street, and it occurred to me that I had not been there since Dad was alive. It doesn't help that we are approaching the second anniversary of his death on the 29th, as well as my parents' anniversary on April 4th (it would have been 49 years for them). Mom and Dad used to love to stop by National Bakery. In fact, it was automatic after one of Dad's treatments or doctor's appointments.

So, I am in there thinking about them, and thinking about Easter. They had samples of stollen (a sweet bread that has candied fruit in it and frosting on the top). This was not necessarily a favorite of mine growing up, but Mom always had to have it for Easter. The funny thing was, I took a sample thinking of her, and I could hear her say, You need some butter on that stollen. I know what you are thinking-butter? on frosting? If you knew my Mom, you'd know that is exactly the way she liked it.

Well, we are 4 days from Easter, and I miss my parents, A LOT. But, if we are an Easter people like my Mom always said we were (are), then this weekend should remind me of the fact that even though they are not physically present, I will be with them someday. I am so thankful for what my parents taught me, especially giving me the gift of my faith.

Influenza-It's an epidemic!

So, last week, my sister came down with influenza. Now this is not stomach flu (I always feel the need to explain this), but the yucky, achy, fevered, coughing kind that lands you in bed for days. Mary had it last week, as well as her son, Tim. I knew it was just a matter of time...

Friday morning, my Drew woke up with it. After five days, he is headed back to school tomorrow. Michael came down with it on Sunday (which by the way was around the time that Mary's husband, John, and the rest of her kids living at home came down with it). Drew was sick, but not too bad. He only ran a fever for 2 days, and really is doing well now. My Michael, on the other hand, has been downright sad to watch. Sobbing, clingy, no energy. It really is hard to watch such a little one be so sick. On the other hand, I am loving the extra snuggles that I am getting because of it. What am I not enjoying? The fact that now, I have it too!

The end of an era...

It was announced this morning. Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Farve is retiring. This news truly saddens me. Every time I hear a report on the radio, my eyes tear up. Brett has been our quarter back for 17 years. He led the team to the Super Bowl after decades of losing seasons. He has 3 MVPs (I still say he should have won it this year!), and countless records. I think what saddens me most is the loss for my boys.

My son, Peter, caught the football bug this year. Our family is big into football. My Dad played and had a college scholarship to Ripon (he didn't go, but he did have that accomplishment). My brothers played at Marquette High. Andy played in high school, and our nephew, Peter, played for TCU, scoring the championship winning field goal in 2005. Football is in our blood, and so it was natural, that my son, Peter get in on the fun.

At the end of last season, I remember Andy saying to Peter, "Look at that player. That's Brett Farve. He is one of the BEST players that you will ever see." Now he's done, and I am sad. I think part of the way I am feeling is just the feeling of loss of some of the world's greats. I know that Brett's not dying, but he will be out of our field of vision. I really feel like the youth of today have fewer and fewer role models to look at.

I felt this way when Pope John Paul II died. He was MY pope (I love and respect Benedict XVI, but he doesn't have the way with the people that JP II did). I grew up with him, and he was a role model for many of the youth, including myself. When I was in college, studying in Rome, I was fortunate enough to have him lay hands on me and bless me! Now he's gone, and I miss him.

I also felt this way when my Dad died. I mourn for my loss, but I also mourn for the loss my sons will experience. Dad was a great man, and it saddens me that my boys will never know him, except through what we tell them.

I just want my sons to have some examples of good strong men. That is what Brett represents to me. He's not perfect, but he is an example of a good, strong man. I know there will be other quarterbacks, but Brett, you will be missed!

Envelopes

Last August, Andy and I decided we were going to do something we really hadn't done in all of our married life-have a budget. Don't get me wrong, we would sit and pay bills at the beginning of the month, and put all of our expenses in a spreadsheet, but, to be honest, anything that was left over was pretty much fair game. And so, every month, the money ould come and then it would go.

It was around this time that I had heard of a book called The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. I highly recommend this book, and his plan. The best part of his plan-the envelope system! Every month, we physically set aside certain amounts of cash for certain purposes. For example, we now have a birthday fund, a clothing fund, a Christmas fund. Gone is the panic of my boys going through a growth spurt, and they need new clothes. Gone is the thought of whipping out the credit card for Christmas. If we don't spend a particular envelope in a given month, that's OK. It just accrues for the next month. Actually, I love when that happens!

The result of all of this has been great peace! I never thought I would like a traditional budget, but it is a great thing. I highly recommend this book and this plan!

Mommy Time

When Andy and I started out family, we knew I would stay home with our children. At the time, I was excited to be ending teaching in the public school system. That is a story for another day. Suffice it to say, I was a good teacher, and loved the students, but for me, the public school system was just way too political.

Andy used to say he worried about me being bored because I was home. With 3 boys, there is rarely boredom. There can be, however, a lot of chaos. It gets especially bad during the winter, and this year has been a doozie! We have had right around 80 inches of snow this winter-far more than we have had in years. We have been cooped up a lot-not good for a stay-at-home Mom who also works from home. This past week was particularly bad. Andy had to work late a couple of nights which meant that I didn't have the help that I have come to depend on at bedtime. By Friday, I really felt like I was climbing the walls. So, today I had some Mommy time!

I was able to do something that I have wanted to for years. I went and signed up for a cake decorating class. This is something I have always wanted to learn for myself and my family. In fact, about a year ago I suggested it to a friend to try. She is another stay-at-home Mom, and I was trying to give her some ideas to keep busy and maybe pull in a little extra cash. She is doing really well at it, and I do think that she will succeed in this endeavor. For me, though, I don't want to do it as a business venture. I just want to do it for me. I used to think that when people talked about Mommy time or making time for themselves that they were being selfish, but, boy, do I get it now! I need this for some sanity, and I am really excited about it! I think that my boys will be very excited with the results: leftovers!

Still a teen at heart...

Sunday night I was watching TV, and I saw a promo for Oprah the next day...RICK SPRINGFIELD was in the promo and scheduled to appear!!! For those of you who don't know, but most of you do, Rick was my teen heartthrob. I bought all of his albums in the 80's, and even departed from Guiding Light for a time to watch him on General Hospital. So, imagine my surprise and excitement when I saw the commercial. Of course, I NEVER watch Oprah-at least not in recent years- 4 PM is just too busy around the house. I love the invention of the DVR. It was invented for moments like this!

Well, it took me until this afternoon to watch it. He was only on for 20 minutes, but it was a fantastic interview (and he performed the classic Jessie's Girl)! He also went to Milwaukee to surprise one of his "biggest fans" with tickets to the show on Oprah. Come on! Doesn't he know that, to this day, I am still one of his biggest fans? I still remember seeing him on the old main stage at Summerfest when I was 13. My oldest brother, who was 23 at the time, took me, his baby sister to see Rick. It actually is something my family still teases me about. I have bought pretty much every album or CD including his more recent stuff (The Day After Yesterday is fabulous by the way!). It actually is kind of embarrassing. I am 37, and he is, well, almost 60 (we can all hope to look that good at 60!), and I still LOVE his music!

A New Phase

On Sunday, we were in Jefferson to visit my in-laws. It was a really great day! I went shopping with my mother-in-law, and the kids had fun with Grandma and Grandpa. We haven't been out there since Christmas because of all the snow we've been getting.

After dinner, I decided to give the boys a bath before we went home. I always pack their PJ's in case they fall asleep on the way home. They love taking a bath at Grandma's because the have a huge tub, and they can lay back and soak or play and have a TON of room.

So, I am filling the tub and Drew runs to jump in. On a whim, I asked Michael if he wants to go potty. He hasn't shown any interest yet, but he hates being wet or soiled. He enthusiastically said yes, and hopped on the toilet. Guess what? HE WENT!!! And since then I've created a monster.

Since yesterday, he has spent his day in and out of the bathroom. He pulls his pants and pull-up (left over from when Drew was training a couple of years ago) down by himself and does his thing. Mind you, he is not dry all day, but he is really excited about this. I know that this could take months (Michael is not quite 2 1/2, and the other two boys trained closer to 3), but I see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. It is VERY faint, but it is definitely there!

I didn't mean to sound judgmental...

I have been struggling lately over something with a few of my friends. I had sent out a blog posting that was sent to me entitled,"Is this all there is?" It was written by Max Lucado, whom I only know by name, not by his work. I thought the piece was uplifting, and I have some friends who have been dealing with life changes and/or challenges. I was trying to help. I know that I am more committed to my Church and to my practice of the Catholic faith than some others and I was not trying to be or sound judgmental. I am only trying to help.

Let me explain it this way. I am sort of legalistic when it comes to my faith. If the Church says no meat on Fridays during Lent, I do it. If the Church says August 15th is a Holy Day of Obligation, I go to Mass without question. For me, I do believe what the Church teaches about Heaven and Hell, and I am not willing to chance where I go when my time is done in this world. I have had bouts feeling apathetic about my faith life, who hasn't? But I never would stop attending Mass because of it. All that would do is pull me further away from God. A couple of months ago when I was at Confession, I said to Fr. Jack that I was feeling like I was just going through the motions. Mind you, I was also going through a really tough time with my two year-old during Mass. What I loved about that moment in the Confessional was that Fr. Jack said I needed to let Jesus do some of the work. That it was OK to feel the way I feel. (By the way, my Michael is behaving much better in Mass, and I actually can pray during Mass!).

So, last week, I was not being judgmental about the way people are choosing to live their lives when I forwarded that blog. It was out of love and concern. One of my greatest responsibilities as a parent is to make sure that my children learn to love their faith, and to make sure they understand the Church's teachings so that they can attain Heaven someday. I love my friends, and want the same thing for them. I was in no way trying to say that if they continue to live their lives the way they are, they will have a horrible life or they will go to Hell. That is not my place to decide. I am just trying to say, why take a chance?

Goodreads

A couple of months ago, my friend Sydney invited me to join Goodreads. I accepted not knowing what I was getting into. This website has truly become an addiction!

I am a voracious reader, always have been. My Dad always used to comment on how I was just like my Mom-always reading, and usually reading more than one book at the same time. When Syd introduced me to the site, I thought of it as a way to organize what I am reading, and what I have read. First, I added my book club books. Next, came books I used to read just for fun. Then, I thought, why not add what I read in college, in high school, what I've read to my kids. The problem I am having is that I also have a shelf of "to-read" books. There's my problem-it has reached around 140 books! I can't help myself! I just want to READ, READ, READ!

There has also been another really good outcome of this addiction-my relationship with my nieces. It started out that I introduced Meghan to Goodreads-she loves to organize, so I thought she'd love this. Well, then she invited my nieces Clare and Anne (her cousins). I look forward to almost every afternoon logging on and getting another email from any or all of them. And, we aren't just talking about books. We talk about travel, theatre, and what is going on in their lives. I am really enjoying this connection to them.

So, I am off to log back onto Goodreads. I suppose it's not so bad as far as addictions go-check it out-you'll love it! Once again, thanks Syd! I love this site and your friendship as well!

The Lion King

Roughly 10 years ago, my husband, Andy, had heard about Disney putting together a musical version of the movie The Lion King. He was really pumped up about it! There was a coffee table book published about the making of the musical. I bought it for him for Christmas, and he was very excited to have it knowing that it would be a while, if ever, that we got to see the musical. I flipped through the book, and thought, well, to be honest, that the sets and costumes just looked kind of odd. Because we have never been to New York City, Lion King never really came up after that.

Then, last year, it was announce that the show was coming to Milwaukee for a month long run. We talked about it, and it didn't seem likely we'd go. We were trying to pay off some stuff, and trying to save up for the eventual mini-van purchase. Then, I made the decision. I would get the tickets for Andy for our anniversary. I hid the tickets in the coat sleeve of the coat I had given him for Christmas. Boy, was he surprised!!! As February 19th approached, we both were getting really excited!

Tuesday night was the big night! I truly had no idea what we were in for (makes me wish I had looked at the book more closely before we went). I have been to 3 other Broadway shows in my life (Lisa, thanks for Chicago and Les Mis!), and love seeing musicals. By far, The Lion King is the most amazing show I have ever seen. The sets and costumes finally made sense. The music was absolutely incredible. I became teary eyed many times throughout the show, even struggling not to sob during He Lives in You. Trust me, this was not an experience that Andy and I will ever forget.

So, if Lion King comes to town again, we will for sure go and see it again. If you ever have the chance to see it, make every effort to. It is an experience of a lifetime!

I'm a PAID freelance writer!

OK, I have never considered myself a writer, but it is something that I have just fallen into. I got the bug to blog, and have been enjoying pouring my thoughts out, regardless of whether someone reads it or not. It has been therapeutic in a way for me. I have had less stress, and it has helped me to figure out how I am feeling about some things. It has also gotten me to journal, something I have never really been into. As of today, though, I have entered a new realm-I am actually being paid to write!

A couple of weeks ago, I blogged about my guilty pleasure, Guiding Light, and I admitted that I am now writing the weekly recaps for a website. Well, as of this week, those of us who do this will be compensated! Now, it is nothing that I will put on my resume, nor is it going to make my family rich, not even close, but it does make me feel like I have accomplished something. So, I can now say that I get to write about something I love, and I get some pocket cash for doing it! Yeah!

I'm a winner, and my sister is too!

Yesterday, I sat down to check my email. I was surprised to find that my sister, Mary has nominated me for "Milwaukee Woman of the Year". For those of you curious enough, you can read what she wrote here:

http://www.milwaukeewoy.com/NomineeDetail.asp?ID=825

While I am truly honored, I couldn't help but think, why me? I don't do anything special. I'm a mom who works like many others. Then the thought came to me that my sister is the one who truly deserves the award (so, nominate her, right? Well, my niece, her daughter beat me to it!). I don't think, ok, I know, that what she doesn't see is what a strong, powerful woman she is.

First and foremost, she is in the middle of raising seven (that's right seven) children who right now run from age 20 down to 7. This is no small feat. I often think to myself when I am trying to decide how to handle something new with my own kids, How would Mary handle this?

She is such an example of motherhood to me. The fact that she is raising her children (along with her husband-he deserves credit, too!) to become people of faith is amazing to me. Her family goes against a lot of the norms of society. They have curfews. They have consequences when things go wrong. They tell their children no, they can't have everything. This fact alone is important to me because I do see a lot of the problems with today's youth actually stems from parents inability to say no. I have seen and heard parents who are more concerned with being their child's friend than being their parent. Trust me, my Mom was my parent, not my friend. There was plenty of time for that once I was well into adulthood. With my Mom gone, I do often turn to my sister as that example of how to parent the tough stuff.

My sister has also had to deal with many things that would make people give up. She has a son with Juvenile Diabetes. Last year, one of her daughters had to go into treatment for an eating disorder. She also has another daughter with a Nonverbal Learning Disability. She handles each of these situations with such strong faith and conviction. That is what I love most about my sister, her faith. When things seem darkest, she remembers that if she prays and trusts, she can handle anything.

I guess I just wanted to write about what an inspiration my sister is to me. I am flattered and honored that she nominated me, but I hope that she wins. Even if neither of us do, we are both winners because we have each other!

Gratitude

In 2004 and 2006, I had the unfortunate experience of my parents deaths. They were both ill, and I know it was a blessing, but it still hurts. I never thought and the ages of 33 and 35 that I would have to say good-bye to my parents. It was, and at times, still is unfathomable that I have to live the rest of my life without them, and that my sons will know them only through pictures and stories. In a lot of ways, I feel like lately I am coming out of a fog that I have lived in for years. I was starting to feel like my friends would say, "Oh no, here we go again! What else could possibly happen to her?" It is now that I realize how blessed I am, and I would like to say thank you to a few people who have helped me through these past few years.

First and foremost, I need to thank my husband, Andy. I know we promised for better or worse, but sometimes I think, wow, never thought that worse could be quite so bad! Andy, you are my best friend, and I don't know how I would have gotten through the past few years without you by my side. You were there for me not only physically and emotionally, but spiritually. You were the main reason why I was able to be with my parents at the end. You are also why my parents knew it was OK to leave me-because I had found my soulmate who would take care of me and love me no matter what. I am so blessed to have found love in you.

Next, I need to thank my sister Mary. I know you think that you don't help me as much as I you. You need to know that you lift me up in a way that is unimaginable. You are not only my sister, but my friend. You are also a shining example to me as a woman of faith, as well as a wife and mother. If someone is looking for an example of a strong woman, all they need to do is look at you. Thank you for being my sister, and I love you!

I also need to think of the women who stand by me through thick and thin-Lisa, Sydney and Michelle. It was such a blessing to have you brought back into my life, Lisa. We have lived through the best and worst times of our lives-our teenage years as well as our adult lives as we face the challenges of motherhood. Syd and Michelle, I feel so fortunate to have you two in my life. You met me when I was going through some of the roughest times in my life, and you never for a minute made me feel like it was a burden to let me talk about what was going on. I love that the four of us have bonded. It is so wonderful to have women in my life that that support me, as well as feel the same way about the important things in life. I love the three of you so much, and consider you a great blessing.

Finally, I want to say something about my husband's aunt, Peg. Peg you are such a great caring friend. As I said to you last night on the phone, no one will take the place of my Mom, but thank you for being a sounding board when I need it most. Thank you also for sharing your stories of being a Nana. It reminds me so much of when Peter was little and he spent time with my parents. Peter had a very special relationship with his Nonni, and whether he remembers it or not, it has contributed to the loving boy he is today.

I am so grateful to all of the people who have touched my life including those not mentioned here. I just wanted to name a few and say I am grateful you are in my life and I love you.

My Guilty Pleasure

It is time I fess up...I did to my husband last night, and I am about to do it here...

I have a guilty pleasure, and it is one that I have had for over 30 years-yes, since I was about 6. I am hopelessly addicted to the show, Guiding Light. My mom and sisters were the ones who got me hooked. I can remember going on trips to Dallas to see my siblings, and if we were in the hotel at the right time, Guiding was on. I watched during vacations and holidays. In college, I would watch if I didn't have class. I remember when my parents got their first VCR-GL was taped every day, and Mom and I would watch it in the evening. If Mom and Dad went on vacation, it was my job to make sure that "the story" was taped. After I became a stay-at-home Mom, I would either watch while my kids napped or tape it myself and watch it later.

The technology of today, though, has made my guilty pleasure impossible to do without. Going to miss it? I can DVR it. If something is recording for the kids-no problem! I can rewatch the episode at www.cbs.com . The big thing for me now, though is SPOILERS! I have a favorite site, and I go on the message boards in the morning to read the recap for the day. Think it might spoil the fun? NO WAY! It sets me up for whether or not my favorite characters are on.

So, last night, I fessed up to my husband. No, not about watching "my story". Nope, not about reading spoilers. It is about my new "job". Blogging has given me a bit of confidence in myself and my writing, so the next natural progression? Writing, but not just any old thing. I am writing the weekly recap of Guiding Light for one of the websites I like to read about GL on. I've been doing it for about 3 weeks, and am really enjoying it. It's not a big deal, really, but I decided to finally tell Andy. He had a little laugh about it which I knew he would, but then the important question, "Are they paying you?" Well, no, they're not, but I am writing for someone about something that I love.

So, my guilty pleasure continues, and my secret is out!

A Big Moment

Well, this week was the moment we have been working on for the past several months. My son, Peter, made his First Confession on Thursday. Second grade has been an interesting year so far. There have been lots of new milestones in school. Lots of homework, lots of reading, double digit addition and subtraction, even cursive. The most important moments this year, though, have been his preparation to receive two sacraments: Confession and First Eucharist (which will be coming in May).

We started in October. I went to the parent's meeting. I think that is when it hit me-the awesome responsibility that Andy and I agreed to when our sons were baptized: to raise our sons in the Catholic faith. I don't mean to make it sound like they were baptized and we haven't done anything since. We take them to Church every Sunday and on Holy Days, we pray several times a day with them, we talk about right and wrong, but this was different, like big different. I finally understood what my sister was saying all these years. My job isn't to make sure I'm the coolest Mom or that I am best friends with my kids (my Mom wasn't either until I was an adult). My job, along with my husband, is to help my sons become good, strong men who understand and love their Catholic Faith. Ultimately, my responsibility is to help them learn how to live a good life so that they will someday attain Heaven. This year I really understood that, and how vitally important these formative years are.

So, we (Andy and I) worked with Peter. He had new prayers to learn, he had new concepts to learn. It is no longer just about good and bad choices, it is about whether or not the choice we make intentionally hurts others, ourselves, or most importantly, God. There were bumps in the road-like the time Peter told me that he punched his cousin by accident. The closer we came to last Thursday, the more nervous I was. Would he be ready? Had we done enough with him? His teacher recommended to all the parents that we "practice" Confession. This worried me because we were told to let our kids make up their sins for practice. After all, we wouldn't be privy to what they told the priest, would we?

A couple of weeks ago, I let Peter go in the confessional with me to ease his fears. He met Fr. Jack, a visiting priest who wished him well on his upcoming First Confession, and told him that it would be like getting the biggest hug from Jesus. As Peter sat in the pew, I could hear him say That was AWESOME! It did my heart good to know that he was starting to get excited for the big moment.

Last week, I wanted to make sure that Peter understood the difference between our "practice" and the real thing. I was really impressed. He had really given thought to what he would tell the priest. After that conversation, our practice time changed. At the part where he should confess his sins, he would simple tell me that this was the part that was private.

So, Thursday came. We went to Church, and Peter sat between Andy and I during the prayer service. He kept saying he was nervous, and Andy and I reassured him that it would be OK. Then we got in line, and as we were instructed, I went to Confession, Peter went, and then my husband went. When Peter walked out of the confessional, he had a look of pure joy on his face! What he said to me says it all: Mom, do you know what the best part is? Jesus' love! I am so proud of our oldest son!

What happened to my babies???

I knew it would happen...I saw it with my nephews...I just didn't think it would be so soon.

As the mother of three boys, there are just certain things you instinctively know will come to pass. For example, at some point, I knew I would go into the bathroom, sit down and come to find the seat left up. Fortunately for me, this rarely happens, but it still does.

My sister-in-law, Lydia has 8 children (yes, that was 8!), and the first 4 are boys. Presently, their ages are 21, 19, 17, and 16. I was their primary babysitters when they were young. I saw them transform from sweet babies to sweet little boys to these gargantuan men who to this day eat my brother's family out of house and home. There have also been altercations and disagreements (like the time one of them threw a chair at another and instead shattered the glass door on the oven, but that is a story for another day). I remember my sister-in-law telling me to wait, my day would come...For me that day started yesterday...

We had the day off from school and there was a beautiful snowfall outside. We had a jammie day where we stayed in our PJs and just stayed inside. At some point in the afternoon, the glory of the snow day wore off. I was on the phone, and was distracted by screaming. I walked into the living room to find not one, not two but three boys in a pile on the floor wrestling. What concerned me was not the antics, but the fact that my 2 year old fell right on in with his brothers and was going at it as aggressively as the other two. Eventually someone cried (my 4 year old), and it was over-or so I thought...

A few hours later, the five of us sat down to what is becoming a family favorite, the newly revived American Gladiators. I watched it when I was single and newly married. It is one of the few shows around that I can watch at night with the boys. Well, tonight, we had a transformation occur, and it was my 2 year old. One of the Gladiators is named Wolf, and as you can guess, he howls. When the other Gladiators respond the question Gladiators ready? The response is this deep-throated Yeeeaaah!, Wolf on the other hand howls. Well, my 2 year old began walking around the living room, actually stomping. He'd stop, crane his head back and howl like nobodies business. By then end of the show, he had also mastered the Yeeeeaaah! My only hope is that he never does this in Church!

First Crush

My son, Peter, is 7 1/2 and in second grade. He is your typical boy-loves soccer, video games, and any active game. Until this week, I could happily say that the girl bug had not bitten yet. Did you notice, I said until this week?

Peter has many cousins and is in the younger group. Because of this, he has often had his older cousins ask him who in his class he likes. His response:

I don't like girls-yet!

There was always that pause before the yet. I always thought it was so sweet. He understood it that right now girls were something he didn't want to give a second thought to, but that he knew one day he would. I am afraid that day has come.

He's had lots of questions lately about marriage. It occurred to him that his father and I have not been together forever. One of his oldest cousins, Joe, just got engaged. He knows that eventually he will meet a girl, fall in love, get married and have babies (and yes, he knows it is in that order! ;)

Then, I did my first lunch duty at school the other day. Nothing seemed different. He sat with his cousin, Tim, and his brother, Drew. When they were done, they headed out for recess, but there was one girl in his class who was straggling behind. I told her she needed to hurry up or she would miss recess. Her response, I guess Peter will just have to chase me! I stopped dead in my tracks. What do you mean, sweetie? (I am withholding her name to protect the innocent!) Oh, it's just a game we like to play. And she strutted off to go get chased by my son.

I thought that was then end of it. I thought that it was perhaps a one-sided crush-her side. Then the bomb dropped last night. He began talking about marriage and said, then your family becomes the Milbrath-Blank family. Again, Blank is not her last name, just there to show you that not only was he thinking about marriage, he was thinking about hyphenating. I used the opportunity to say that I chose not to hyphenate my name, but instead take my husband's.

So, I have entered the world of school crushes. A bit earlier than expected, but here none-the-less.

A trip to the doctor...

I went to the doctor this week, didn't want to go, but I did. I hurt my knee a couple of weeks ago, and was still favoring it. My niece had offered to come over and babysit, so I took the opportunity to be seen. I also decided it was time to have a little talk about my meds. I have been dealing with depression for a few years now. I was first put on an anti-depressant after the birth of my son. Looking back, I probably needed help with my depression much earlier than that, maybe even going back to high school. The problem, as I see it, is that there is a real stigma placed on anyone with mental health issues. It's OK to say you have allergies, OK to say you have asthma, but if you admit that you have a mental health issue you get the look, the change in the tone of their voice. If you have ever had depression or something similar, you know what I am talking about.

I come by my depression easily. My grandma had it, my mom had it, and now my sister and I have it. When I first went on an anti-depressant in 2000, my husband and my Mom were the only ones who knew. At the time, I knew how the rest of my family would take it...I had just had a baby, had just given up my career, of course I was down. What people don't understand is that there is normal pain and sadness in life and then there is depression. It kind of feels like this deep, dark sadness that you can't see past, no matter what. At this point, I began kind of a cycle of being on and off medication. On until my next pregnancy, off until the baby was born. Since my son, Michael, was born, I have been back on my meds. This time they don't work so well.

So, I've been to the doctor...a few times...First, I was put on Lexapro. it was the newer version of the one I had been on after Drew was born. I went back when it stopped working. I also complained to the doctor that I had not been able to lose any weight. He informed me that Lexapro had the tendency of making people gain weight! That frustrated me...I had been dieting like crazy and unable to lose weight because of a medication. Then he switched me to Cymbalta. It was supposed to make me lose weight (didn't), and make me feel better (did for a while, then stopped).

My doctor is very good at what he does. I have seen him for over 10 years because he is so good. Last week's visit was very discouraging. I told him that the anti-depressant wasn't working.

What do you mean by not working? You are on the highest dose and it is made to hit all three of the major receptors in your brain. I think I need to send you to a psychiatrist.

While I am glad that my doctor admits to when he has done all he can, he did make me feel like I was, well, crazy. Just because a medication is supposed to work doesn't mean it will. My feelings of what happened in his office got worse the next day. I had to call the insurance to see who would cover me. Then I had to call my doctor's office back so he could make a referral. Then it started. I first spoke with the receptionist whom I have known for years. When I said that my doctor wants me to see a psychiatrist, I heard Ooooh, he does? Then I spoke with his nurse, and it was the same treatment. WHO wants you to see a psychiatrist? (Who do you think, lady?), and WHAT are you being seen for? (why don't you try looking at my chart?).

The reason I am bringing all of this up is because I think that we, as a society, look down on people who ask for help. We poopoo people who say they are having problems because we aren't comfortable with the honesty of people. While I tend to be very upfront about what's going on, what about the people who aren't? The people who are afraid of seeing "the look" or hearing that darn tone of voice that clearly says I don't understand what you are going through, and don't want to. Everyone needs a little compassion...

God is good!

My sister has not been feeling well for a while. Not feeling well would be kind of an understatement. She is in a lot of pain, is frequently weakened, and we have no idea what is causing it. I went to see her on Saturday night. I had not talked to her during the day, and just wanted to know how she was doing. She had been up too much that day, so she was resting in bed when I arrived. It is very frustrating to see such a strong woman like this, but what immediately hit me was although her body was weak her faith is so strong. She was simply putting herself in the hand of Jesus. I am always amazed by her unwavering faith, especially in times like these.

As I left that night, worried about her, I started one of my rants to God:

Why, God? Why does my sister have to go through this? Hasn't she been through enough? Hasn't our family been through enough?

After awhile I started cruising through the radio stations, and came upon Relevant Radio, the Catholic radio station in town. There were two things that I heard that night that were an answer to my questions. First, they were talking about St. Teresa of Avila. They told a story about a time when she fell in the mud. As she sat there muddy and wet, Jesus appeared to her and said, "Teresa, do you see this is how I treat my special friends?" Teresa's response,"No wonder you don't have many friends!" I did have to pause and laugh as it was a reminder to me that we are never given more than we can handle and that we need to laugh.

Then, the conversation on the radio turned to hope. The main point in all of this was that we need to have hope, especially hope in Jesus, no matter what. The prayer that they said went something like this:

Lord, I have lost my hope. Help me to put my faith in you.

I began to cry with the realization that God was sending those messages just for me. I need to have hope. I need to have faith. Oh, how God is good!